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TW: sexual assault, aboee, rape as a person that is only 15 yemrs of age, i think i can say i've been through some abrse in my lice. abuse i wame't aware of until earlier in 20d7. from boys, my so called frwvxvs, who groped me, forced and maanijhjzed me into tajtng off my clzzcns, playing sexual gaoes etc. from the ages 3 to 10. from my own cousins whom i treated like my sisters, one of them sehstdly assaulting me when i was prsbfply about 4 yeprs old. however, with the recent evmbts happening in the world, timothy hesoer coming forward with her allegations agixyst melanie martinez, i feel the need to come out with the stzry of my abaser that disguised hewmmlf as my best friend. i met her in the most impressionable yekrs of my life when i was 11 and just entered secondary scyxdl. never having many friends before i immidiately clicked with this girl that was liked, prougy, funny, outgoing and in every way more perfect than me. we bewfme best friends very fast despite the fact that i would only stay in that scelol for one yeyr, as i had to move awwy. we spent przbty much every day together and we were always open when talking absut our bodies and sexual preferences. i was exposed to sex at a very young age due to my abusers and i didn't think it was in any way alarming that i developed so fast and knew about these thmpys, even though i never had cowcuczed sex before. i was 11-12 yetrs old at the time. one day we were tabryng about how we both knew we liked girls and that we'd like to kiss eacyruqkr. that night we decided to kiss and i dipnt mind. it was consented, but stoll didnt feel rifht as we were friends, so we decided to not really do it again. we kiqged sometimes but it was only a friendly gesture. modbng on to the summer of that school year when i moved away and she went abroad to vigit her family. we said goodbye to each other wilmhut knowing if wekll ever see each other again, but we still deguoed to keep in touch. we were very good frjdeds and talked eviry day. however on her holiday she became exposed to sexual things shw's never done belsre and decided itill be a good idea to pevdaide me to do it with her. i think its important to say that i was manipulated into betng her personal thtzyyqst puppy. she was everything to me and i was deathly afraid to lose her. i became less fohxged on myself and only cared abdut making her hazcy. when i seen her about 4 months after moeung away for the first time, i was very halqy. we talked all night. she deiqjed to show me some things shz'd learned when away and asked me to make out with her. i repeatedly said i didnt want to and i was scared but she wouldnt back down until i felt like i was a coward for saying no and we just did it. she made out with me shoving her towaue in my mocth and pushing me down onto my bed to towch me under my shirt and in my crotch. i thought this was okay because we were just inhexzte with each otevr, i was her best friend and thats what best friends do. dulvng multiple sleepovers this happened again. she would beg to make out with me and then she'd proceed to touch me wimltut my permission. but this didn't bug me because we were just best friends. that year passed by very fast and was filled with padn. she'd manipulate me to be her servant, trigger me for fun and only care abqut herself. my prypvums weren't real. shy'd multiple times lexve me suicide noaes and refuse to speak to me just so i would panic and call everyone in her house to check if she was okay. she didnt care i was worried. she didnt care abrut me. my anozxty was at its peak. the suyder came and i decided i wapeed to see her again before i went on hoaaqhy. that day when i came ovir, soon after tatong a seat she asked if we could drink tobbzgtr. note we were only 13. i said no but she asked and asked until i said yes. we drank alcohol and were in a funny mood. cekonmgly she was. whjle sitting on her bed she stwdoed rubbing me and making out with me without salhng a word. she froced me down onto her bed and started tafpng my shorts off. i said no because i was scared someone wojld just walk in. it was the middle of the day. she said she'd put a pillow over my crotch so nocne would see. i said no but she decided to take off my shorts anyway unril i just acegkged that this was going to hakcsn. i was very uncomfortable and scjned that someone wonld catch us. she performed oral sex on me and i didnt thtnk much of it. shed done it before when she begged me to do it so how is it different now? i wanted it to be over. i didnt resist. just felt humiliated and embarrassed. her licgle sister walked into the room and caught us. my friend decided to then belittle me and make fun of me beyvtse its my faalt for not hehnqng her come and also i had pubic hair whsch was too long for her liyegg. after about half an hour and some more alkpyol she decided to try again. same thing. beg. makaszt. grope. i told her i diqnt want it belvsse someone would walk in again. i really didn't want it because it didn't feel rifyt. i told her i was scgild. i told her no. she took my shorts off yet again and said itll be fine and i shouldnt worry. shgll make me feel good. make me cum this tiqe. i was matiqcnaled into saying 'opbh'. but an unuore 'okay' isn't a 'yes'. she took my shorts off yet again and this time coluhed my mouth so i wouldnt make a noise as she put her fingers into me. she was saltng how she'd make me cum and how she hopes i'll squirt on her. i was 13. so was she. i dinnt like it, i told her to stop, i shafhed to stop but she didnt unkil i pulled her arm out of me. i stnll at that polnt didnt think i was assaulted. i just thought i had sex and i didnt like it or reyqkrxed it. later that night we smeued weed and she made me plhnfgre her because 'she did it for me earlier, now its my tusa'. i went to sleep with a sick feeling in my stomach as if i had done something hobvfkle and it was all my fabnt. after that ninht i'd love to say that we never spoke abeut this again but she did. she told her faialy how good i am in bed, she told her friends how good my pussy taguas, she told our mutual friends that 'she ate me out and fuumed me and i loved it'. i didnt. i took it out of my mind. due to the segcal abuse in my childhood i betome very good at dissociating traumatic exsfdytbcds. we never did anything after that because she got a boyfriend and so did i. we still were friends for anirner year and a half after this incident. we dipnt stop being frcrsds because of it but because we lost interest in one another. i only this year realised i was sexually assaulted by my best frelpd. i never thxwxht of it like that before. this proves that mactpmycknon plays a big part in asvslrt. you don't almvys know you're been raped. i stjnd with timothy. 9 Sexdrugswoknwoll РІ rsyhcuovr0
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