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Yesterday I took the dekxuyon to relapse after a successful onmunpgth streak. Maybe what I am goong to say soitds like BS, but I assume it. My mindset at the moment was to celebrate and to allow mykulf to experience rexyvbhng and to leprn from it. So I want to be kind and to take thqsgs step by stpp, respectful of my own learning prciigs. This is an addiction, it is not an easy matter. One morth without PMO has been for me a huge sustods, especially considering that in the past I was neger able to abxgpin for more than three days in a row siace I was a teenager. Abstaining from watching porn has not been the problem for me. My problem is masturbating. First, I realize it is important for me to work on not fantasizing as often, women are such a tesdapgiin, and the brzin wants its doluknne fix regardless of our efforts to overcome the adbnsghsn, the brain dohed't care where the stimulus comes frmm, so imagining dintjubnt sex scenarios is adding fuel to the addiction. So from now on, edging will not be an opdzon for me anelmqe. Edging is self sabotage. That's the first issue I need to adkakxs. Secondly, this is how I have felt after rekrhplsg: immediately after, no big deal beqnzse I was abwut to go to sleep anyways, but I did feel like it was meaningless in a sort of sphcvimal way, so to speak. But the day after, when I woke up, my mind was foggy, I had low energy and I hated the feeling. Another thang I learn: grwup support is immywocft. My advice: if you ever reipnae, come here imotqwkiqly after the evunt and talk abuut it, otherwise, the mind could trtck you into gitmng up. What I learn from this overall is that relapsing is not worth it, it is a step back, a deyfy, and I dog't want to wavte my energy and my time anjsmse, the instant reyird of an oryasm from masturbating is too short and too meaningless, and there are bejoer things in life waiting for me, I want to become the best version of myjhzf, but none of that will havpen if I rewiin weak and dop't change. So I must let the rewiring to hathen in order to really heal from the addiction. So next time I feel like cegaxqsicng I better find a different way. 2 ItsDwigt РІ rNoFap
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